Albany, NY (USA) -- The Buddhist monk is a former crew
chief of a helicopter gunship in Vietnam. He enters to the singing of
the bell. Barefoot and robe-clad with shaved head and an austere
embodiment, he walks the center aisle that leads to a raised platform.
Lining his entrance path are the chairs and cushions of the 130 who are
gathered in this sacred setting. He climbs the stage and turns to us. He
begins in a soft measured voice.
"A veteran commits suicide every 62 minutes in our country. Seventy
percent of them are over the age of 50. We sit here and meditate to
honor them and to save ourselves, for this is the cost of war and
violence in this country. You sitting before me are the light at the tip
of the candle. For the next five days, we will practice meditation in
all that we do to combat the moral and spiritual wounds of war. Please
respect the silence and dedicate yourself to this practice."
We introduce ourselves by name, branch of the service, where and when
we served. The room resonates with the pronouncements of those gathered
from the last six wars stretching from Korea to Afghanistan - old and
young, black and white, men and women. A few have brought their families
and loved ones, most are alone. Some bear the visible wounds of war -
limbs missing, scarred flesh - while others bear their wounds with
vacant stares. This is Lourdes for the combatant. It holds the possibility of a new Memorial Day paradigm without the parades and celebration.
And so we begin, prompted by the singing of the bell and the instruction
of our mentor in the ways of sitting. The first sitting seems
interminable, breathing in and breathing out. It is followed by a
walking meditation leading us closer to awakening. Breathing in on one
step and out on the next, this walking is unnervingly slow.
The pace of the retreat slows my racing metabolism. The speed of my
thoughts diminishes through the meditation. I strive to accept each
moment as the only moment - ratcheting down from the normal pace of
life, committing to being present to the real moments of my day.
Continually prompted by the singing of the bell, I slide downward and
inward with all the others into a steady rhythm of breath and awareness
as silence becomes sacred.
We write in meditation with stark purpose, sharing our words with
others. The fears of each of us are shared in these chances of
vulnerability and in the safety of blessed space that we have created.
With the practice, there is an opening, an accessibility to words and
images that have been hidden below the movements of our daily lives
allowing what rises up from our beings to live. The thunder of an
explosion increases in volume and pitch as it returns with the flow of
our pens.
Each day takes us deeper into the silence that allows feeling. Five
days pass without some measure of normal time. We gather by the lake on
Sunday morning for the closing, and the monk leads us in a Norse ritual
when we light afire the raged paper scrolls containing the work of our
practice and time together. Smoke billows to the clear sky as the bier
floats to the lake's center and slowly sinks to rejoin the elements of
nature.
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New is one of 2.6 million U.S. veterans who served in Vietnam.