Establish refuge and bodhicitta

When a human being or an animal dies in our presence, we need to put aside our sorrow, shock, and other distracting emotions and activities, and think: “This moment after death is an opportunity for liberation. I will now offer my support in this transition.” We must have confidence in the blessings of our spiritual lineage, our own compassion, the skillful means of our meditation, and on the positive karma of the deceased. The very fact of our presence at such a moment indicates karmic interdependence, so we take refuge and summon our powers of spiritual intention and training.

Tap the crown of the head

If possible tap the deceased’s crown chakra to move the subtle consciousness upward. Avoid touching other areas of the body, particularly the soles of the feet, in order to avoid inauspicious downward movement of the consciousness. However, if you cannot prevent others from handling the body, don’t lose time in discussion. Instead practice your method with complete attention.

Whisper in the ear

Hearing is the last of the sense faculties to cease functioning, so it is useful to whisper into the ear of the deceased, “Now you have breathed your last breath, so direct your mind toward the ultimate nature of wisdom and compassion.” Also, it is beneficial to whisper mantras, particularly Amitabha mantra or the long dyrani mantra of Akshobhya, in the moment after the last breath. For non-Buddhists, we may prefer silent, mental repetition.

P’howa and the Red Tara meditation for the deceased

If we have trained in the Amitabha p’howa of three recognitions, we should begin the transference practice as soon as possible. Like the mantra recitation, the p’howa practice can be performed quietly, or silently, or even in a different room if appropriate.

It is also very effective to practice the Red Tara meditation for the deceased, which is included in the Concise Red Tara practice. This practice, written by H.E. Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche is a transference practice in the sense that it merges the consciousness of the deceased into the enlightened mind of Tara, with Amitabha present above her head as lord of the lotus family. However, one needs Red Tara empowerment.

Other prayers and meditations at the moment of death

Many extensive sadhanas have special prayers for the moment of death transition, and these do not require empowerment. The p’howa sadhana concludes with a prayer to Amitabha, the Shower of Blessings with the “Yeshe Sanglam” to Guru Rinpoche. It is very useful to memorize or carry such a prayer since we cannot predict when it will be needed.

Prayers to the guru and to our meditational deity support the deceased’s transition by surrounding him or her with an environment of pure phenomena. Dedicating the merit of the practice creates further benefit.

Notifying lamas, sanghas, and other practitioners

In the moment we may delegate calls to spiritual mentors to friends or relatives, in order to focus on practice ourselves. The moment of death can stir a lot of activity—we as practitioners need to keep our priorities focused and offer our most beneficial efforts.

If we delegate calls to lamas, sanghas, and practitioners in retreat, we should follow up with emails that include the person’s name, relationship, age, place of death, and the circumstances. It is appropriate to make offerings in the name of the deceased, and to sponsor butterlamps and special ceremonies. Sanghas will place the name of the deceased on their prayer lists, to be read aloud during their Tara practices.

It is never too late…

Some practices such as p’howa and the traditional 49-day death ceremonies must be accomplished within a specific period of time. But others practices can be performed for as long as one remembers the deceased. These include Akshobhya, sur offerings, sponsoring tsoks in the deceased’s name, make charitable contributions on his or her behalf to humanitarian or spiritual projects, and saving of lives of animals that would otherwise die soon. Wherever the deceased ones have taken rebirth, the merit of our offerings benefits them. If they have awakened to buddhahood, the merit fulfills their intention.